Because I don't
by Never seen the sky before
Summary: Remus admits his feelings towards Sirius, such feelings Sirius was to blind to see,P.O.V swings a bit


Disclaimer, the ideas mine, the characters aren't.

"I...uh, never saw it" he said in a complete state of bewilderment,

"Of course you never saw it, you were always to busy with your own ego and being fawned over by every other female to see me," Remus remarked his tone exasperated with a cold edge that hit Sirius hard in the face. The muscles in Sirius's face contracted, Remus knew Sirius well enough to know he was going to frown.

"Don't" Remus remarked before Sirius had even opened his mouth, the frown did wash over his face, then an expression that Remus was hopping Sirius would save for another time.

Blind fury, crossed Sirius's mind and showed easily on his face. "Shut up" Sirius barked. The anger heightened when he saw Remus's face smooth.

Silence, all that could be heard was Sirius's harsh breathing and then suddenly the slightest click of shoes on stone.

"No Sirius" Remus muttered as he slid a hand from his warm pocket to touch Sirius's jaw, the warm fingers slid across his rough skin, he needed a shave, a true sign of them growing up. His head was tilted sideways slightly as those fingers mapped new territory across his cheeks.

Sirius winced, not from pain but from the sensations of these feelings, such feelings he hadn't expected to feel yet, and never for the person in front of him. Wise, overly cautious Remus, always with a warm smile and kind words, for when their troubles seemed to get them so, far down. Remus's hand slid to his chin gently as a rough thumb ran so gently across Sirius's lips he thought for a second he was only imagining it. With a gleam of his eye Sirius moved to sink his teeth into Remus's hand, some thing the, none to slow boy had naturally expected, Sirius never did seem to be one for large amounts of intimacy.

Remus pulled his hand away and Sirius tasted the coppery taste of his own blood. The response to this however neither had expected. Sirius's hand came out as if to strike Remus but caught the hair at the back of his neck and almost dragged the boy towards him.

There was a struggle, Sirius as usual over powered Remus who, although taller than Sirius was far weaker owing to his recent chains of sickness, Remus could smell the blood upon Sirius's lips. They were too close.

Remus's body was almost begging Sirius but his eyes filled with all of the strength and self control made him stop, he whimpered gently. "If you do this, will you mean it?" the words rang through the air. Sirius's eyes slid shut and he pulled the boy close, their lips met, it was gentle they brushed and Remus tasted Sirius's blood, he licked it off his lips before moving in closer to remove what was left on Sirius's. A gasp left the black haired boys lips as his grip on Remus's hair loosened for a second before he pulled him closer so caught in the moment there was no space for regrets.

"nothing can come from this" Remus muttered breathlessly an hour latter, but so much more was to happen to come and it seemed nothing was going to stop it.

Days turned to weeks and the incidents were never spoken off, pushed to the back of their minds until the moments of darkness or unawareness awoke them .One day about a month after the last incident Remus sat against a wall watching Sirius and the others walk towards the quidditch pitch to drop James off, Sirius noticing Remus stopped "I'll catch up", he yelled back at the group who carried on chattering and laughing. "Remus, what's wrong? You look horrible" he said moving to put a worried hand upon Remus's shoulder, as Remus flinched Sirius snapped "What in the hell is your problem?" he asked sick of the constant problems between them, hurt by the way never touched him.

"Don't you see Sirius?" Remus exclaimed, "rather than imagining you beside me, beneath me, you skin warm next to mine, I can remember it!" he said turning his face away to hide the moment Sirius looked at him. "You hesitate every time you go to touch me now, do you now trust me?" Remus asked his face turned back towards Sirius although his gaze remained distant.

Sirius opened his mouth to speak but was cut off, if Sirius wasn't mistaken Remus had spoken out more recently than in the entire time he had known him. "You act before you think, and then even when you should be thinking afterwards your still acting, you never think and when you do the thought process are obviously not rational or in the least bit intelligent. Your dealing with a person Sirius you can't just do the first thing that pops into your head, we humans are complicated, they are easy to break and sometimes impossible to mend" Remus said

"Would you like to explain what is going on between you and Remus?" James asked sitting on the edge of a couch in the now empty common room. A sideways glare from Sirius forced James to rethink the question. "Alright, Sirius what in the hell is going on between you and Remus? Huh? Every time you walk into the room Remus drops something and finds an excuse to leave, you don't look at each other, and when you tapped him on the shoulder yesterday he winced. Sirius, don't make me get out the truth serum" James warned. Sirius growled at him and James sighed,

"Look I'm just worried alright, he never seems happy any more, I can't remember the last time we saw him smile" James muttered shaking his already tangled head of hair.

A slam came from the portrait hole and a weary smile appeared "that's because I never am,"


End file.
